13 Reasons Why | My Thoughts and Theories?!

I just HAD to make a post about this show. HAD TO! Spoilers ahead…duh. 

Hey readers, I’m back finally with a post that isn’t about me and my life. But I guess if I’m not happy I’m not going to make happy content, so after I posted my last post, I took a few days to sort myself out, and I’m feeling better now. I can’t thank you guys enough for the comments you all left me, I thought I was alone but it’s so clear I’m not. So thank you guys, you’re amazing. 

Now, onto the post! (I am going to mention suicide a lot, so if that triggers you, you don’t have to read this post! xx)

 

13 Reasons Why…if you haven’t heard of this Netflix show that’s DOMINATED everyone’s social media since it released….where have you been?! I finished 13 Reasons Why last week…well I finished watching it for the second time last week. I can’t put into words how much I love this show. It’s amazing. The actors are incredible, every single one of them. Gotta put in a special word for Katherine Langford who plays Hannah Baker. I couldn’t believe 13 Reasons Why is her first job! Like what?? She’s definitely gonna be in high demand now, her performance in 13 Reasons Why was legendary.

I’m assuming if you’re reading this you already know the plot of 13 Reasons Why, and you’ve already seen the show. So I’m not going to explain the plot, I’m sure you’ve heard/read it everywhere. In this post, I’m going to share my theories and thoughts about the show, just gonna be word vomiting everything 13RW basically. So strap in, it’s gonna be wild. (Hopefully). And I’ll say it again, this post is gonna have MAJOR spoilers, so if you haven’t seen the show (more specifically the last few episodes) and you’re planning to, stop reading and save this post for later!

THEORIES!!

Alex???

At the end of episode 12, we find out that a 17 year old has a gunshot wound to the head, the scene is in an ambulance, the teen is being rushed to hospital. Then at the end of episode 13, we find out the teen is Alex Standall. Now we could all tell that Alex had the most guilt over Hannah (apart from Clay) and he wanted everyone else on the tapes to stop keeping this secret and tell the truth when it’s needed. That’s all we thought right? That Alex felt guilty. But we didn’t notice how guilty he felt.

Here’s Alex Standall theory number one. Throughout the show, they mention lots of times how to spot the signs of a suicidal teenager. The Bakers wonder how they didn’t spot Hannah’s signs, the school is now telling parents how to spot signs in their own kids, ect. In all the chaos of Hannah’s tapes, the lawsuit, everyone else on the tapes trying to get Clay under control, Justin and Jessica, and the many other mini plot points, we lost sight of Alex. We failed to spot the signs…until it was too late. So if this was intentional (I have a feeling it was) the show wanted to prove how hard it is to spot the signs within the chaos of life. It’s not as easy as it’s portrayed. I remember Hannah saying something in one of the tapes how the scary thing is that ‘it looks like nothing at all’. So when I watched 13 Reasons Why again for the second time, I made sure to pay attention to Alex and his behaviour every time he was on screen. But in life, you don’t get that second chance to see everything again, to change how often you payed attention. If this was intentional, it was a damn good idea. 

Alex Standall theory number two…let’s go. Now, this is the interesting one. At the end of episode 13, we find out Alex shot himself. Or did he? It’s likely he did, his dad is a police officer so he does have access to a gun. But I’m thinking Tyler Down may have been the culprit. Interesting huh? Well, we did see Tyler buying a gun (in episode 12 or 13…not too sure) and we did see him in episode 13 with a bigger stash of guns, ammo, grenades. We see Tyler with the photos of everyone on the tapes, and the pauses in front of Alex’s, then takes it down. Right, so I’m thinking Tyler’s planning to kill everyone on the tapes, to make it look like a suicide. But as for why, I don’t know. And if this is the case and he did shoot Alex…why Alex? Before Tyler takes down Alex’s photo he remembers the time Alex helped him as he was getting harassed by Montgomery. Alex is the only one that hasn’t done anything to wrong Tyler, even Clay has when he took that photo and sent it around. So I doubt Tyler would have shot Alex, and I doubt he’s planning to kill everyone on the tapes. So what’s he going to do with those guns? Stick around to find out. As for Alex, I feel as if he just shot himself. It’s sad, but the likely truth. Does he pull through? I’m praying for a season two. But then again it might not be Alex…

Tyler??

Continuing from the Alex theories, Tyler’s first theory begins. I suggested that I think Tyler’s planning to do something else with all those guns and violent items. Perhaps…a school shooting? Why else would he have so much guns? Tyler has made it clear he hates Liberty, there’s no doubt about it. He hates the popular people in the school, how they think they own everything. Watching 13RW the second time around all Tyler’s comments about his school really came to life. He gets bullied, everyone undermines him, it’s understandable there’s a lot of anger in him. And Hannah killing herself, and releasing those tapes may have been the last push Tyler needed to take action. This is a popular theory, I’ve seen it around a lot. If the people behind 13RW is building up for a school shooting, it could keep with the theme handling serious, tough topics that’s happening a lot in society today. I strongly believe in this theory…I mean what else could it be? It would be awesome if there is a season two and I’m seriously surprised. 

Justin??

When I thought of this theory I actually got upset. I love Justin, I really want to watch more of him and his story. Plus…come on, he’s easy on the eyes. Sorry, just had to say it. But it’s so darn true. Anyway, his last scene in the show was him walking away from Bryce, after he’s said a few words. I’m desperate to know more. Where does he go? What’s he going to do? Is he going to be ok? Does Jessica every forgive him? (SHE BETTER I LOVE THEM TWO TOGETHER). And I know Justin messed up big time, but when he explained why I felt for him man. I get it dude, I get it. It doesn’t excuse what he did…but I understand it better. Anyway, if Jessica forgives him I’ll be so fricking happy anyone would think I’d won the lottery. Literally. Let Justin’s first theory commence! I doubt this theory is true but I’m including it since I thought of it. In the ambulance, we don’t see much at all of the 17 year old with the gunshot wound to the head. But if you look close enough, focus long enough…you kinda see dark brown hair. Alex doesn’t have dark brown hair. But guess who does, and guess who also had a gun from when he took it from his mum’s house as he was frantically packing….JUSTIN. Now, it’s a possibility, but I doubt it for so many reasons. Ok I know Justin said to Jessica he considered killing himself, but I dunno….I just really doubt it. He didn’t seem like a person that was about to try to kill themselves. If anything in the last scene we saw him in he looked ready…determined. I dunno…he just wouldn’t. And I strongly believe that the people behind 13RW wouldn’t kill of Justin. His story isn’t over yet. 

THOUGHTS!!

If There’s A Season Two…

I really think someday there will be a season two. They left so many cliffhangers, so many plots to continue from. There’s gonna be a season two, I feel it! Here’s what I think season two will be like and what I’m hoping will be answered. 

The main plot point of season two would be more likely Tyler and the school shooting plot. If that’s actually a thing. 

We’ll find out about Jessica, how she’s surviving and what’s gonna happen to Bryce, since she told her Dad about what happened in episode 13. 

We’ll find out what Mr Porter does with the tapes, his reactions after listening to them.

We’ll find out what happens to Justin, how he’s coping. Will he get in trouble for not stopping Bryce at the party? Will Jessica ever speak to him again?

The atmosphere at school, how much has Liberty been affected by the chaos the trial and Hannah’s tapes being out in the open?

Everyone else on the tapes…how are they?

Does Alex pull through?

How are the Bakers after listening to Hannah’s tapes? What are they going to do to them?

How would they include Hannah? Would there still be flashbacks? Or will Katherine Langford no longer be needed? After all Hannah’s story is over, season two would be more about the effect her story has caused. The butterfly effect…

Bryce knows about the tapes, what’s he going to do? Will he pay for what he’s done to Jessica, Hannah, and probably even more girls at Liberty?

Clay, Tony, Skye…how are they?

Whoa…that was a lot. I feel like a weight has lifted off my shoulders. I just want to finish this post by commending 13 Reasons Why again. I know it’s a show, it’s meant to entertain, but it did so much more than that. And that’s how you know you’ve done something special. I can’t say it more how much of an important show it is. It’s hands down my favourite show of all time. As for the protests that it’s glamorising suicide…did you watch the last episode where Hannah killed herself? What was glamorous about that? It was dreadful and heartbreaking and just awful to watch. I had to look away many times. And then there’s some saying it’s too distressing, and promoting suicide, traumatizing and triggering people. I can understand that, there were warnings at the start of episode 12 and 13 because those had the triggering scenes. It needed to be done in that amount of detail, because it needs to be shown that suicide isn’t peaceful or painless. It’s scary and painful. It needed to be seen for awareness, as hard and upsetting as it is.

 

Man I’ve talked a lot, highest my wordcount has every reached! But thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed. Let’s talk 13 Reasons Why, anything you have to say…say it! Don’t be scared to share your opinion, we all have one! And remember, suicide is never an option. Keep fighting, we love you, and I’m here for ANYONE who needs it. I seriously mean that. Stay awesome friends, see you when I see you. 

(Reached 1933 words…wow, new record!)

  –   All The Jazz 

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An Abundance of My Feelings and Emotions

I originally wasn’t gonna post this, but here it is….

Hi everyone, I’m back writing as All The Jazz for you all. 

Lately I’ve been having a pretty rough time with friends, family, and myself so I decided to make a post about it. 

When you have a medical issue, it’s very hard to find people who understand. They might say they do, but really they don’t. The horrible part of me wishes they can all live in my life for a week to see how they survive, and to get them to understand the struggle. That sounds bad, I know, but I hope that makes you guys understand my frustration. 

Sometimes I want to scream and shout for the whole world to hear how tough it is, how tough it is to get up everyday for school, to appear happy and cheerful at school, to pretend I’m not in tones of pain everyday. 

I’m struggling! But I’m fighting! So much so nobody at my school (including my friends) had no idea I was going through anything for 3 years. They probably wouldn’t know now if I hadn’t started to let cracks show. 

But I’ve learnt some things. 

I learnt how supportive some of my friends are.

I learnt how not-so supportive some of my friends are. 

I mean, who just replies with ‘get well soon’ when you find out one of your friends is struggling with a medical condition. And I’m aware how bitchy I sound, I apologise. Especially to the friend I’m talking about because I know you’re reading (please continue btw, I want you to understand) it just really, really hurts. And you don’t get it. Nobody does, not even my own mother. 

When I try to convey my hurt and pain with others and how their words affected me, they always confuse hurt with anger. And that’s always how fights start. That’s been happening recently lately with my Mum and I. We keep fighting about this and I don’t know how to make her understand. 

Sometimes I really feel like I’ve messed my family up. Before it all started, we were all happy, not much stress in our lives at all, my mum and I never dreamed to fighting and 3-4 years later, here we are. Stressed and annoyed, attending all these GP and hospital appointments, me missing school, my mum missing work… I had to grow up so quickly, the past years feel like they went so slowly yet quickly at the same time. 

Ughhh it’s such a frustrating situation! I don’t even know if anything I’m writing makes sense, I’m just writing, not really thinking, I just need an outlet right now.

Ok, let’s try give this post some structure.

Missing School…

I miss school, quite a lot. Once again due to this mysterious medical condition I haven’t clarified for you all. One day my friends, one day. Anyway, missing school due to this is obviously bad but it’s caused other issues. Say if I’m ill, nothing to do with my issue, it’s so hard to convince my mum I cannot go in. It’s like if it’s not about my condition, I have to go in, even if I can’t. This causes fights between us, and unwanted stress. And all of a sudden it’s my fault and I get punished somehow or yelled at as if I made myself sick, and it’s so annoying. I don’t even have any words. 

Medication…

As expected, I take a few tablets to help me exist and get up in the morning every day. My doctors want to reduce one of the tablets that help me the most, because they could cause issues in the future. The last time they tried to do this, I was completely out of action for a week. That experience, no joke, really scarred me and I’m so, so terrified to do it again. Has anyone got any idea what I could do? Because every time I try to talk to my mum about it, once again we end up fighting.

Feeling alone…

Lately, I’ve been feeling rather alone. I’ve been really feeling the effects of hiding it and fighting it every single day. It’s so tiring. And when you’re in a school full of stuck up teenagers and hear them stressing and crying about petty problems as if it’s the end of the world…let’s just say it really annoys me and upsets me. Even some of my friends are guilty of that. 

I don’t even know anymore…

In addition to all my medical issues, I’m a teenage girl too. I’m gonna have those ‘normal’ teenage girl issues like body and appearance confidence, school stress, friendship conflict too. And all this stuff combined has made me rather….sad. I have these emotional breakdowns, the few days before going back to school after break I have these anxiety like breakdown attacks, and all my worries feel locked inside of me and I have nobody to tell. Sometimes I just want to give up. And today’s one of those days.

Yes I haven’t got a normal problem. I haven’t got family problems, school problems. I have a fucking medical problem that restricts me more than you’ll ever know. As I type this I’m in so much pain, but I’m used to it, aren’t I? So it must be fine to just deal with. Right? Because you all know don’t you? They all think they know and they don’t. They’re not when close. I’m alone…literally. What I’m going through is extremely rare in young people like me. Doctors have only experienced this with adults. So yeah. I’m fucked up, and the only one. 

Million problems and no solutions. 

Ok, that’s the end of this post…whatever this post is. Thank you so much if you read it all, and sorry if this post wasn’t what you were looking forward to. I’m just feeling so upset, angry, alone…borderline depressed really. I needed to let it all out, so I turned to WordPress. Sorry if some stuff doesn’t make sense, I’m a bit of an emotional wreck right now, and it’s not fun. Not at all. And the sad thing I bet nobody I know is going to take the time to ask if I’m ok. Nobody knows, nobody cares. 

I might delete this later, or put it on private or something, I’m not too sure yet.

  –    All The Jazz 

12/04/2017 – A Blast From My Amazing Past…

I tried to make that title more original by adding ‘amazing’. I’m silly.

Hey everyone, I’m back with another storytime-like post with something that happened a couple of days ago. I just felt like I needed to blog about it! So here I am!

It was around 10am on Wednesday (the date in the title) and I was coming out of my room after changing when I saw my Mum climbing up the ladder into the loft. So I was like:

‘Hey Mum, what are you getting from the loft?’

And she replied with:

‘Just getting your old tap and ballet shoes, a friend has a daughter that’s been taking ballet and tap classes, and I thought she’d really like them.’

And that’s when the unexpected rush of sadness came flooding in. But as Elsa famously sang, ‘CONCEAL DON’T FEEL DON’T LET THEM KNOWWWW’. So I said:

‘Oh, that’s cool. I haven’t used them in ages anyway. You’re always such a good friend to people Mum!’

‘Yeah, I try I best!’ 

I turned to leave to head downstairs but I couldn’t. Something was holding me back. So I stopped, turned back and asked my mum if I could have the shoes to look at them before she left later today to give to the friend of hers. She said ok, handed the box to me once she’d got them, and as soon as I opened them I was hit with a fierce force of broken dreams. 

Nobody who knows me now, and nobody who looks at me now would ever believe that I took ballet and tap when I was younger. And they wouldn’t believe even more that I used to be really good at it. Like, really good. 

I did all this when I was living in London all those years ago, and I really loved everything about it. When I opened that shoe box and saw the battered and worn ballet shoes, and the pristine matte back tap shoes with that awesome heel, I literally saw that huge spacious room with those wall height mirrors along the wall, the ballet rails on the sides…I saw it all. It’s like I was there! Then I remembered the joyous feeling I got everytime I put on that leotard and slipped on those ballet shoes. The feeling of accomplishment when I got complement after complement from my ballet teacher. It’s all hazy, it’s been a long time ago and a lot has happened since then, but I still felt it all and it made me so happy. 

It was all going so well, why did it have to go all wrong? That’s the feeling I got next after the happiness and nostalgia left me. Sadness. I had it all going for me…what if we stayed in London? What if I continued ballet? What if my ‘Dad’ let my mum go to Disney when they scouted me? But I’ll never know. I’d like to think in an alternate universe the other me is living that life. I hope she’s enjoying it. 

Now when you look at me you don’t see ballerina. You see a teen that’s definitely passed the ‘ballerina skinny’ mark, a teen who’s extremely shy and self-conscious, a teen with a frustrating medical condition. And it’s moments like that that always makes me think…what if he just said yes?

I stepped out of my room with the shoe box full of my broken dreams and hopes. The shoe box full of what I had. The shoe box full of what I could have had. 

I closed it, and took a deep breath. I handed them back to my mum (who was in the kitchen) and burst out with:

‘Do you every think about how life could have been if Dad let me do the Disney Channel thing?’

My Mum paused. 

‘Jas, you can’t think about the past like that. The past is the past, it’s gone, and as much as we’d like to wonder about it and wish for it, it’s still going to be gone. We can’t get it back. You have to focus on the future, how you can change and improve your future. And then in the end, what could have happened wouldn’t have mattered, because you’ve got what you’ve got now.’ 

I nodded. I understood. I just wish I could do that. 

‘Thanks Mum. It’s just hard, you know?’

‘I know, I know.’

And then she gave me a good ol’ hug. I needed it for sure. 

I glanced at the shoe box, then left the kitchen. Then laughed to myself, mocking how upset this has gotten me, as I sat on the sofa in the living room. Or lounge. I’ve always called it the living room. 

Life is crazy man. There’s always all these hurdles we’re faced with. Sometimes we start well, jump over every single hurdle effortlessly. Sometimes we start badly, and trip over some hurdles, but in the end we’ll finish the race effortlessly. Did that make sense? Probably not. But there’s always gonna be something in the way in life, but we’ll make it. We’ll come up on top. It might not feel like it, but those letdowns, those missed opportunities, those ‘what could have been’ moments….in the end they won’t matter. Because you would have made it, you would have won. 

Please excuse my horrible attempt at inspiring you all. I just started typing, not really thinking…and that’s what was produced. 

My life lesson from all this was that the past will always be there. It will always be filled with what could have happened, what didn’t happen, what I wished happened, what I wished didn’t happen, but I have to move on from that. As hard as it is, as painful as it is, I have to move on and focus on what I want my future to look like, so all those regrets and wishes won’t be as prominent. Hopefully, as hard as it will be, I will manage to do so.

This post has come to an end my friends. Thank you all for reading, the mood I was in as I was writing this, as you can probably tell, wasn’t the best mood. I was feeling down, and it fueled me to write this post even more. Events have happened…and I just feel so low. And blogging always makes me happy, so that’s why I’m here!

Thank you for reading once again, I really, really do appreciate everyone who takes the time to read my posts. It’s amazing, you’re all amazing! 

I’ll see you all when I see you all in the next post I put up. ūüôā

  –   All The Jazz 

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My MBTI Test Results?!

I was curious, so I decided to do this test and write a post about it. My thoughts were literally: ‘Why not?’¬†

Hey readers!

I was pretty bored today, so I decided to take one of those personality tests (the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator more specifically) that have specific questions that were specially made to find out your personality type, more details about your personality type and who YOU are as a person. I thought I’d share the results with all you wonderful humans.¬†

I got the personality type…. The Defender (ISFJ-T)! Yay?

  • I got… 17% Extraverted and 83% Introverted in the MIND category.
  • 29% Intuitive and 71% Observant in the ENERGY category.
  • 21% Thinking and 79% Feeling in the NATURE category.
  • 64% Judging and 36% Prospecting in the TACTICS category.
  • And finally, 9% Assertive and 91% Turbulent in the IDENTITY category.

There we go, me written in percentages and categories. The website was pretty cool though, it gave me tonnes of information about my personality type, it was basically telling me about myself. It was surprisingly very accurate. The website gave me weaknesses and strengths that come with my personality type, so I’d thought I should share that with you guys as well!

Weaknesses (Well, some of them.)

  • Humble and shy. We’re often reluctant to say what we really think (Yep!) or present achievements, especially in a competitive environment. This can hinder career progress and cause frustration and disappointment. (Agreed!)
  • Overload themselves. Defenders’ perfectionism combined with their strong sense of duty often pushes them to take on too much work and they have to ensure everything is perfect. This can lead to stress and a lot of anxiety for a Defender, especially if people abuse their good nature. (THAT LAST PART THO)
  • Take many things too personally. Defenders are very sensitive to conflict and criticism, taking critical comments very personally. (It’s kinda like they’re looking into my mind…)
  • Reluctant to change. May be unwilling to try out new things or change their habits, even if it would make sense from a rational perspective. Defenders cannot stand chaos and may feel lost and vulnerable in an unfamiliar, unstructured environment. (Exactly me, sometimes I can handle change, but most of the time I really, really can’t.)
  • Repress their feelings. Defenders are private and somewhat shy – not surprisingly they tend to repress their feelings instead of expressing them in a healthy way. This in turn increases stress levels and can cause frustration down the road. (I’ve been struggling with this even more recently actually, I feel as if I have nobody to talk to.)¬†

Strengths (The majority of them… because I’m a lazy little dudette.)

  • Very supportive. Defenders are always willing to help other people, sharing their knowledge and experience with other colleagues, classmates or friends. Defenders strive for win-win situations, choosing empathy over judgement wherever possible.¬†
  • Loyal and hardworking. Defenders often get attached emotionally to a specific idea. They will work very hard, always keeping the end goal in sight.¬†
  • Imaginative and observant. Defenders have their feet planted firmly on the ground but they are also very imaginative, especially if something fascinates or inspres them. They also tend to be very observant, able to pick up the smallest cues, especially when it comes to someone else’s emotional state. (Oh my gosh I talked about this on my blog recently! Mind=blown.)
  • Reliable and patient. (That says it all really, why thank you kind people.)

Anddd there’s so much more I can include!

This website really had it all, it has SO much information about me and my personality type I couldn’t possibly get it all down! It has an overview of the amount of Defenders in the world, how Defenders act in friendships, relationships, work environments, as a parent….and tonnes more! Highly recommend you all taking this test on this specific website: www.16personalities.com¬†¬†and find out more about yourself that you even knew…

Thank you all for reading, I’m aware this post is SCREAMING, ‘sponsored, sponsored!’ but I’m not, trust me. Kinda wish I was! I’m just so glad my boredom led me to this website, and wanted to spread the word you know? Let me know what personality type you guys get if you take the test, I’d love to know!¬†

Have a good morning, afternoon, evening and night wherever you are! 

  Р  All The Jazz 

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Why I Love Me Tag!

I’ve been tagged in another new tag made by a blogger…I feel so special!

Another blogger’s made such a heartfelt tag?? Hey everyone and I’m back with another tag? I know I said I wasn’t going to do tags often, and I’m still not, just the tags I’m really eager to do, like this one. The lovely Thoughtful Tash created this tag AND tagged me to take part. Sending a hugeee thank you to her for thinking of me and my little blog! 

Tash’s aim behind this tag was to help us remember the things we love about ourselves. Rather on focusing on the things we want to change about ourselves, she wants us to look for and focus on the things we love about ourselves and why we love it. It’s such a nice idea, I was so glad to see I could take part. 

So, let’s find out the reasons I love myself! Well, you know, after the rules. And after I’ve spent a good twenty minutes thinking of some reasons! :/ 

 

THE RULES:

  • Post the award on your blog.
  • Acknowledge the blogger who nominated you.
  • Leave a link to the original tag creator (Thoughtful Tash) to get a bit more info about WHY this tag was made!
  • Write 10 things you love about YOURSELF and WHY.
  • Nominate at least 5 other bloggers.
  • In the comments of the blog post, spread more self-love with compliments to each other! THE MORE LOVE THE BETTER! 

WHY I LOVE ME:

  • I LOVE…my humor

I kinda pride myself in the fact that I can make people laugh, it just comes naturally when I’m with friends or family. Although I think at first I used it as a way to get people to like me, well when I moved from London years ago and came to primary, all I did was make people laugh, and then they became my friends! I’m not sure if that was the best idea lol. 

  • I LOVE…my height

Oh man I love being tall. It would be weird if I was small, but then again being tall has some disadvantages! For one, all my friends in primary were pretty small, so I ended up getting a slight slouch that won’t go away! I’m kinda missing the point of this tag, I’m not meant to be talking about the disadvantages of something I love about myself. Ugh stop it Jazzy.

  • I LOVE…my eyes

I get tonnes of compliments on my eyes and how bright they are. Well mostly from family and my mum’s friends, but it still counts right?

  • I LOVE…my love for reading

Can this count? I can strongly say that if I didn’t enjoy reading or for some reason I couldn’t read, I’d be pretty lost in life. Reading is such an awesome escape and I’m so happy I love it and it’s a part of me. 

  • I LOVE…my ability to help others

This ability works best over the phone on text! But I always feel like I have the right thing to say, 90 out of 100% I do anyway. But everytime I do help a friend, they always feel better after, and they always say that I’ve helped them, even if it’s just a little bit. And as long as I can bring at least a little sunshine into someones dark cloud, I’m happy. 

  • I LOVE…my appetite

This probably is a bad thing, but I’m not gonna lie. I LOVE the fact that I can stuff my face without getting full quickly! It’s a nice quality to have don’t you think? Don’t deny it…I know you agree with me!

  • I LOVE…the morals I live by 

Does this make sense? I just like the way I handle things in life, my definition of right and wrong, knowing the right time and wrong time for something, the right thing to do and the wrong thing to do. Basically the moral code I live by. I’d like to think I’m doing it right!

  • I LOVE…my ability to analyse people

I’m a bit too good at this. Bit creepy, nice talent for a shy girl like me to have, but can also prove quite damaging for a shy, extreme worrier like me to have. Since sometimes I over analyse, or think the reason someones upset is because of me, because I’m focused on it so much. But anyway, good at detecting people’s moods, what’s on their minds, what’s bothering them. What they try to hide I usually detect. I can also figure out why people are upset, one time I figured it out before the person in question really knew why she was upset. I hope this all made sense, maybe all this summarized is that I’m good at being nosy? But it does help me help others, so that’s good. 

WHO I NOMINATE FOR A LIL’ SELF LOVE:

Really sorry, but I’m gonna be an annoying lazy blogger and tag people this way. (Don’t hate me I love you all!!)

I tag the FIRST FIVE PEOPLE who like this post to do this tag! I will send a comment to the first five people who like this post so they know they’ve been nominated! 

Nooo, looks like we’ve reached the end of this tag you wonderful readers! Thank you all for reading, and thank you Tash for tagging me and creating this wonderful tag. You’re awesome! Now, it would be really cool if you all left a comment below about something you love about yourselves, let’s spread the self love. 

Until the next post peeps. 

  –   All The Jazz 

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Book Review – The Darkest Minds

‘The Darkest Minds tend to hide behind the most unlikely faces.’

Hi everyone, and after more than a month without doing a book review, I had the opportunity to read the perfect book to write one!

Ahh, The Darkest Minds by Alexandra Bracken. I have a long history with this book. I’ve wanted to read it for two years, but for the longest time it wasn’t available in UK book stores. It was available on Amazon, but it was always way more expensive than it needed to be. And it wasn’t even available on Kindle! So I spent ages wishing for this book, for so long I kinda forgot about it, until I randomly decided to search it up two weeks ago. And it was in stock at Waterstones! The cover was different, the one above is the new cover which I prefer from the old one, so that’s the one I bought. 

Ugh, I’m rambling again. Here’s my second attempt of writing a book review, enjoy!

May contain small spoilers!

So what goes on in this book? 

Ruby is sixteen. She is dangerous. And she is alive. For now. 

The Darkest Minds is pretty dark, dystopian, but not like any dystopian. The story follows Ruby, who (just like many other kids) survived a mysterious disease that killed most of America’s children. And in return, the kids who survived developed frightening abilities. Ruby’s sent to Thurmond, a brutal state rehabilitation camp where kids with abilities are controlled and treated aggressively by the government, who fear them. Ruby’s learnt to suppress her new powers, but as a dramatic turn of events occurs, Ruby’s suddenly free, and thrown into the crazy and dangerous place the world is now. 

She’s introduced to new people, new prospects, the ability to live and be free again, the idea to love again. But, no dystopian is that chilled. There’s bumps along the way, the government hunting her and her newly acquired friends, the clans and alliances formed by other kids with abilities also proving dangerous, one even being the most dangerous of them all… 

Ruby’s world starts to expand, she’s free after all. But was she expecting the world she came back to? 

What did I think of it?

I really enjoyed The Darkest Minds. The beginning was a bit slow, I found myself itching for some action so I ended up skipping pages, but as soon as it got good, it got GOOD. I’ve got to say that as soon as Liam, Chubs and Zu came into the picture, and as soon as Liam’s likeable, funny personality shone through (his first words in the book was what sold me!) I immediately shipped Ruby and Liam. And I was so happy when my ship became a ship! But if anyone’s read The Darkest Minds, you’ll know the ending and what Ruby did really annoyed me. I literally shot up straight in my bed when Ruby did that! And nope, she didn’t break up with him, it was much more worse than that! Also, he didn’t die or anything, so don’t think I’m hinting at his death! 

Well, since we’re on the topic of Liam….I LOVED this character. He’s so fricking selfless it’s amazing, and I love his funny personality, his fatherly approach to little Zu. Chubs wasn’t very likeable at first, but he really grew on me.

Ruby, liked her as well. There wasn’t anything outstanding about her that I liked, although I liked her most in moments where she was interacting with Liam, Zu and Chubs later on in the books. 

As for the book itself, I loved the plotline. It built amazingly and when it reached the ‘punch’ as I like to call it, it was amazing. The Slip Boy aka Clancy Gray was…holy moly, such a character. He was involved in the biggest ‘oh gosh’ moments, and responsible for that dramatic ending. As soon as good ol’ Clancy was introduced, the book elevated. I really hope he’s in the second book (well there’s no reason why he wouldn’t be) because his cunning, ridiculously clever, kinda evil personality was AWESOME. 

*EDIT: Literally as I was proofreading the part above about Clancy, my heart-rate picked up because he’s so fricking awesome and evil and I love it! So cool. Guess who said the quote at the start of the book, yep, Clancy! Most fangirl about normal stuff like girl bands, I fangirl about evil teens with abilities in books.) 

Ok, back to the plot. I just wish the ending wasn’t…the ending! I’m not happy with it at all, it was written amazingly, but I don’t like where Ruby ended up, what she did to Liam, and everything really! I’m still mad about that, but I guess that’s good? Probably what Bracken wanted. 

Ughhh, writing this is making me desperately want the second book! Perhaps I could convince my mum to get it for me, I did buy this one myself, and it’ll get me off my phone and that’s what all parents want right?

This book has a very ‘I want to read more!!’ feeling to it. As demonstrated above unintentionally! I read this book in one day, and it’s a pretty thick book! I did nothing but read it, simply because I couldn’t put the darn thing down. Every twist, turn, ‘oooo’ moment and ‘holy poop’ moment is executed well. I wish it didn’t have that slow start! 

(And yes, you read that correctly, I said holy poop.)

Rating?

I’m going to give The Darkest Minds by Alexandra Bracken…..drum roll please…..

4.5 / 5 Stars! 

Honestly I really, really enjoyed this book. But I just couldn’t give if 5 out of 5 because of the slow beginning to the book. It wasn’t slow right at the beginning, more like from the end of the beginning to the middle of the middle…? But the rest of the book was a definite 4.5 stars, amazing characters, amazing plot. I can’t wait to see how everything plays out if (when!) I get the second book!

Overall…?

Such an amazing, riveting, heart-thumping, exhilarating read. It’s not like any old dystopian, not like the Hunger Games, not like Divergent. So much better than the two combined! It provided a new type of dystopia, a new spin on it. And the cliffhanger ending will make anyone desperate for the second book. Characters (I can’t say this enough) were out of this world. Liam and Clancy, despite them being worlds apart when it comes to their personality, were my two favorites. 

The Darkest Minds was great, you’re missing out if you don’t give it a read. Do you really wanna miss out on the book that’s put it’s own twist on dystopia? I think not! And the fact that I’m sounding like I’m sponsored by the publishers says how much I need you all to read it!

(PS: Not sponsored lol, that’ll never happen peeps.) 

I hope you enjoyed my second ever review! I hope you enjoyed, I love writing reviews, even though my reviews aren’t the best! Has anyone else read The Darkest Minds? I feel like it isn’t as popular is it should be! Is anyone considering reading it? Let me know! Have a wonderful day. Or night. Or evening! 

  –   All The Jazz 

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Life Update | Where Have I Been, What Have I Been Doing?

I’m here, still alive! Call off those search parties! Then again it hasn’t been that long, I haven’t posted in just over a week but it feels so much longer than that!

Hello everyone! Happy April! How’s everyone been doing? It feels like it’s been so long since I’ve posted, mainly because the last two weeks or so of March felt like they went on forever, so much has happened. But I’m back, and super pumped for Easter break, prepare for the huge amount of posts that’ll be thrown your way for the next two weeks!¬†

But, as for why I was gone, like I said, the last weeks of March went on forever, mostly because I was struggling so hard then. Physically, emotionally…I’d never say I’m depressed unless I’ve been officially diagnosed, but how I was feeling then….I’d say that if I didn’t manage to pull myself out of that, I’d be heading to a dangerous place. So…yeah, I disappeared because of that.

Ok, I’m glad I got most of the sad stuff out of the way, let’s move on.¬†

Anyway, my life. What’s been going on? I never know how to start with life updates…

The run up to the end of March started badly, I went into school but had to leave early due to….reasons. That ended up in me staying home for the entire week, physically not being able to go into school. That ended up starting a rough period between my mum and I. We kept fighting and disagreeing. So yeah, that wasn’t fun. But I’m not going to go into the depressing details, I’m in a happy mood, I wanna keep it!

On Thursday I had a hospital appointment to do with that mysterious ‘reason’. I would go into it but I’d have to miss out so much that I’m not comfortable with sharing , so it all won’t make sense, so it’s just best not to. But it wasn’t the worst hospital appointment I’ve had! After the appointment, my mum and I ate lunch at some new Chinese restaurant, went window shopping around town, I bought a book (which I’ve read and I LOVED, book review soon!) and then we went home.¬†

But, just to let you all know quickly, about the cat, I’ve announced already that I’m no longer getting it BUT I’d managed to convince my mum to get me the cat somewhere in the near future. She promised me, hand on heart, that she would, so I’m happy about that! I’m sad, because if everything went to plan we would have owned a kitten two days from now, but I’m happy because it’s not ruled out.¬†

That week ended, and then I went back to school at the beginning of the week we’re currently in, the last week before Easter break.¬†

School. A horde of new kids joined my year the last week that I wasn’t in, since tonnes of people had been permanently excluded in a huge wipe-out. Every time new kids join my year I always hope it’ll be my chance to make a new friend, or have someone that doesn’t know me as ‘quiet, boring, nerdy’. But that never happens, the snobby ‘popular’ kids always get to them first. Anyway. One of the new kids has the same name as me, and a girl that’s been at our school as long as everyone has my name too. Plus there’s another girl which has a name that’s similar to mine….and they’re all in my classes. If it’s not one, it’s the other! So I’m always having people call my name, but it’s not me, and it’s so frustrating. And the times I don’t turn around, it ends up being me! Some kid started calling me the Irrelevant *insert my name here*, and the new girl with the same name as me is the Relevant *insert my name (and hers I guess lol) here*. Because the new girl, who’s only been at our school for two weeks, is more popular and talked to than me…already. Ugh school’s so overrated and annoying. Forget me, school’s the irrelevant one here.¬†

Anyway, overall the last week before Easter break was a standard school week. Some days I had such fun lunchtimes with some of my friends. That’s all to report on that front! Well, Friday was a bit different. Our head of year was leaving the school, so at the end of an assembly we had we dedicated that time to him. A cheesy slideshow and awkward gift receiving later, we were all shocked to see that he was…crying? Our head of year is a tough guy. Really scary, pretty intimidating. And looking at him trying to blink away incoming tears as discreetly as possible while still portraying the ‘Mr Tough Guy’ look was quite sad to watch. The hall was full of awwwws. And to be honest I’m quite sad to see him go, as scary as he was he was a great head of year. He did say he’d be coming back to see everyone in a few years time on GCSE Results Day and our Year 11 Prom, so that’s good I guess.¬†

So after that, our school day ended, and one of my friends (I think I’ve given her names in the past on this blog, but I can’t find them, so let’s call her….Cassandra, because why not?) decided randomly that we should all go to her house, so we did! I had to leave at three sadly, but the time I spent there was fun. I rarely feel comfortable doing normal things like spontaneously going to a friends house, because of those ‘reasons’ I mentioned earlier, but yesterday I actually felt comfortable (for once!) and it was such a nice feeling to have, to feel like a normal teenage girl, even if it only lasted two hours.

Now….

LET’S TALK THIRTEEN REASONS WHY. ¬†

Where do I begin? Actually, I’ll begin with bowing down to all the people involved in making such a masterpiece.¬†

*Proceeds to put laptop down, get up, and bow down*

I’ve only watched two episodes, and I’m HOOKED. I can already say that it’s done the book justice, maybe even go as far to say that it’s better than the book! The show adds something a book can’t you know? It has the right level of everything, the level of suspense is awesome…I don’t even know how to describe this show! Let’s just say I’m enjoying it 100%, and I can’t wait to watch more. If you haven’t already, you have to watch it! As long as you’re ok with the scenes that could trigger some people, give it a watch, you’ll like it. 100%.¬†

I think that’s it for this life update, that’s all that’s gone on in my life. I know right, so thrilling! I’m hoping my Easter break is fun and eventful, that would be nice.¬†

So how has everyone been? Anyone else on Easter break? Thoughts on 13 Reasons Why? Anything you want to talk about? I’m here, let’s just have a chat! I’ve missed you all! So excited to blog more…

  Р  All The Jazz 

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My Monthly Wrap-Up | March 2017

March went by SOOO quick! It’s like I blinked and ‘poof’ it’s the end of March.

Hiya readers, happy end of March, and I’m back with another Monthly Wrap-Up! As writing this (on Sunday) my eyes are still so sore from crying. Had some stress regarding the kitten I’m getting. My Mum just decided to say that she didn’t want the cat, and I went into meltdown mode. I’m aware this sounds bratty, I don’t want to turn this post into an explanation about all that, but let’s just say getting this kitten is my lifeline. I need her for so many reasons, she’s already motivating me to get through the last few weeks of school, and I haven’t even got her yet! I’m dying to get her, and the chance I couldn’t killed me. I think it’s sorted now but I’m not 100% sure. You know what I’m gonna stop before I keep on going on and on about it. 

What was this post going to be about again? Right, monthly wrap-up. Let’s do this before I start going on about what I had for lunch or something! 

This past month I achieved… 

  • Continued writing in my diary – I’ve only missed a few days this entire month!
  • Started revising – Yep, I did this one! Only once at the very, very start of March for a maths exam. And I did pretty well in that exam, so revision does pay off!
  • Started reading another book – I started reading another book last week, I haven’t been reading as frequently as I could, so I haven’t finished yet. Hopefully I finish soon, and a review will be coming your way soon!
  • Stepped out of my comfort zone – This was when I took part in my school’s university challenge, it was rough but I did it! And I wrote about it on my blog because I was feeling smug af. 
  • Secured a kitten! – Officially getting a kitten, if nothing else goes wrong that is. A haul for some supplies I bought is going up soon, if it hasn’t already!
  • Did tones of kitten research – My mind is like an information book of kittens and bringing them to your home. I. Know. Everything! 

 

My ambitions for the following month…

  • Take part in at least one blog collab – I was meant to do this during March, but it was crazy for me mentally. I just wasn’t motivated. I did reach out to a few bloggers early Feb, but it didn’t go anywhere. Maybe I’ll reach out again, see if they’re still keen?
  • Practice piano every weekend – I started off strong, and then it flopped mid March. I need to try harder this time. 
  • Prepare for the new kitten – We’ll be getting her April 10th, and I need to be prepared. I want to give her the best home I can. 
  • Have a great first month with the kitten – I’m praying nothing goes wrong, to keep my mum on board and happy. I can’t wait to have her around, to play with her, feed her, even clean out her darn litter tray! I just can’t wait. 
  • Start saving money – My mum made it clear I’m going to be the main carer for this new kitten, that involves cleaning out it’s litter tray, grooming it, feeding it, and buying some things for it. All the things that’s reasonable for a 14 year old to save for and buy for a cat, I’m getting. Long story short, I need the money, so I need to gain it and save it! 
  • Try and eat healthier – I don’t do any physical activity apart from walking to school, simply because I can’t, and I eat junk like crazy. I’m not over weight, but I need to start managing what I eat before things get out of control! I stress eat, and it’s so annoying! 
  • Read at least two books or more – I’m so happy I got back into reading, and I’d love to continue my reading streak!

 

What have you guys achieved in the month of March? Excited for Spring? The only things I dislike about Spring is the clocks going forward (*sniffle sniffle*) and all the bees and massive flies coming out of hiding. Oh yeah, fun fact about me, I’m terrified of flies. My brother has been allocated the fly murderer of the house, I kinda make him. And I can’t go back into the room the fly was found until I can see that it’s dead or I’m 100% sure it’s flown out. Yep, I’m weird. 

*EDIT: Not getting the kitten anymore sadly. Not happening! Too sad to explain really, but I guess it’s funny to see how excited I was just a few hours ago. I get let down a lot, this is just another one in the books. Ugh why does all the sad stuff happen on Sunday, just for me to go back to school the next day. Anyway, see you guys. 

  –   All The Jazz

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The Uniquely Me Tag!

When you’re tagged by one of your blogging role models…it’s like ‘I HAVE BEEN CHOSEN!’

Hey everyone, and I’m back…with a tag? I did explain a few posts ago that I wan’t going to be posting most tags/awards I get nominated to do, but I’m sure I did say I’ll be doing some and I just couldn’t pass up this tag! The legendary Elm herself created this tag, with the aim to help others realise they do have something special and different about themselves, and for others to recognise that, embrace that and celebrate it in a tag!¬†

I love the idea of this tag and I’m so happy I got the chance to do it! So, let’s get to it!

The Rules

  1. Thank the person that nominated you for this tag and link to their blog.
  2. Write as many things that are unique to you as possible: these can be things that you do, say, like or have that makes you different to other people or lets you stand out. It can be what defines you as a person, a little thing about that is just simply you. 
  3. Nominate up to 10 bloggers or as many as you like; there isn’t a limit.
  4. You can take this tag as seriously or non-seriously as you like; you can laugh whilst doing it or feel contemplative: this is about you after all. 
  5. After you’ve written this and if you ever feel like there’s nothing to you but what other people have said and done, look back to your post and remember that it isn’t true.¬†

 

Unique Things About Me 

  • I always seem to become so creative when I’m trying to get to sleep, it’s like I morph into J.K Rowling or some other amazing writer when I’m trying to sleep. And of course, when I wake up I forget it all!
  • I like to make jokes/make people laugh when I’m starting to feel tense. It’s an awesome technique of mine to cheer myself up.
  • I have this dark black stone I’ve had for as long as I can remember, and I can’t bring myself to get rid of it! I don’t use it for luck or anything, it’s just there. The Beginnings of a Stone Hoarder.¬†
  • When I’m annoyed/angry, I like to annihilate people on TV to take out my frustration. Honestly guys, it gets brutal. But I always feel better, and on the plus side they’ll never hear what I’m saying!
  • I love documentaries, ranging from unsolved crimes, tragic deaths of people or celebs, huge police investigations and more. Recently watched one of O.J Simpson, it was awesome.¬†
  • When I get a cold…I REALLY get a cold!
  • I can cringe so hard at something embarrassing or not-so embarrassing I did like 3 years ago or 3 days ago.¬†
  • I feel like I’m the only teenage girl that follows a collection of beauty gurus, gamers, and tech YouTubers.
  • I’m 14 and still haven’t used a speck of makeup.¬†
  • I bet I’m the only teenager who’s lasted this long without trying a bottle flip or dabbing at least once. Yep, you read that correctly.
  • I love savage jokes, that probably cross a line for some people, but I can’t resist laughing to.¬†
  • I get paranoid and panic really easily.¬†
  • I used to do ballet when I was little and lived in London, I was a pretty ballerina stereotype and I had a lot going for me. Until I moved to Birmingham, left my studio and gained weight. As you can tell I’m a bit sad about that still lol.¬†
  • I used to model! Back when I was the pretty ballerina stereotype. Bet nobody would believe me now if I said I modelled!
  • I’m really tall, and it’s fun? I can reach the tallest shelf!
  • I have an unhealthy obsession with the show Dance Moms.¬†
  • This Morning is my lifeee. (UK lunchtime show)
  • I’m so much better at giving advice over text/message. I’m so much wiser then, and everything I want to say just works! In person I’m less helpful and I have no idea why.¬†

 

My Nominations

You people are awesome and I’d love to read the unique things about you all!

Autumn Colours

Diversion3000

The Iridescent World of Indy

Sarra Christine

Forever and Everly

Awkwardsaurus

Anna’s Adventures¬†

My Bookish Life 

The Depth of My Love 

L ( Consider Yourself Warned)

I hope all of you nominated manage to do the tag, and I’ll love to see it when you guys do! Thank you again to Elm for tagging me to do this tag, I enjoyed it so much.¬†

See ya when I see ya guys.

  All The Jazz 

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Songs I’ve Been Loving Lately

Ahhh music, it’s pretty much everyone’s best friend.

Heyyy peoples, I hope you’re having a wonderful morning/afternoon/evening wherever you are! Actually…I’d love to know where about you guys are from! You obviously don’t have to go into details, I’d just love to know the places my readers are from. So, please let me know below if you’d like!

Anyway, today’s post is going to be all about the music I’ve been listening to, just because lately I’ve noticed I don’t really like all the pop in my playlist (I like some, but a playlist full of it was waning on me) so I’ve been giving my playlist a little revamp by discovering songs in different genres I really like. So I thought I’d share them with you all!

Female Robbery (Album Version) – The Neighbourhood.

You’re gonna see a lot of songs by this band in this post! I absolutely love this song, and the video. The Neighbourhood always have these intense deep meanings to their songs in their music videos, and Female Robbery is no different. I don’t really know how to review songs accurately…just check it out, or at least the video, you’ll love it!

Let It Go (Album Version) – The Neighbourhood.

No, not the Frozen one. This Let It Go is 100% better. Ahhh I love this song. And the meaning is just, wow. I love it! Unlike Female Robbery, I understood the meaning behind this the first time I heard this. I did watch the music video too, and it’s about a married woman in the 1950’s (I believe) hating the life she has to live. Around that time women had to live and behave a certain way, they had to cook, clean, just be the ‘perfect’ housewife. And she hated it, she had to continue living a life she hated and…oh my gosh I’m explaining it so badly. Just go watch it guys, you have to!

Afraid – The Neighbourhood. 

I love this song the most because I relate to the lyrics. And…I just love it. I haven’t watched the music video yet, but I’m sure it’s good. 

Sweater Weather (Album Version) – The Neighbourhood.

This is the first song by The Neighbourhood I came across. I actually came across it a few years ago, stopped listening to it, forgot about it, then found it all over again years later. I have no idea why I stopped listening to it, it’s awesome. Speaking of which, I really need to listen to this song again, it’s been a week since I have, doesn’t sound long but it is! Trust me!

City of Stars (From La La Land) – Ryan Gosling. 

I was pretty surprised myself when I heard this song and liked it. I’m not really a musical person, so I assumed I wouldn’t like it, but I really do! I’d love to learn it on piano, but I got a feeling it’ll be pretty hard. I didn’t know Gosling could sing, and Emma Stone. Did anyone else? It’s like as soon as La La Land happened they could randomly sing! Anyway, I recommend giving it a listen! 

Scared To Be Lonely – Martin Garrix & Dua Lipa.

I was so happy when I found this! I just love the beat, and I love Dua Lipa’s voice in this. 

Death Of A Bachelor – Panic! At The Disco.

One of my friends is a hugee Panic! At The Disco fan, so I finally decided to check them out. I actually love most of their songs, but the one that stood out the most was Death Of The Bachelor. I just love it! Wow, I’ve said that a lot in this post haven’t I! 

Believer – Imagine Dragons. 

I actually heard this the day it came out! This has never happened to me before! I’m so proud of myself as you can tell. I love Imagine Dragons, and when Believer came out I was like ‘yassss’. Great song, I haven’t listened to it for a while though, I need to do that. 

 

We’ve come to the end of this post! Thank you so much for reading, and I strongly suggest all of you guys to check these songs out! I love them all so much, they all bring me some joy when I’m down. I obviously love more songs than just the ones above, those are just the ones standing out currently! Feel free to tell me songs you’re loving, and I’ll give them a listen! 

  –   All The Jazz 

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